So I have a friend that goes by “Mogli”… He’s a writer too and one day we decided to get each other’s take on One Night Stands….
This is what ensued.
One Night Stand…. What do I think about one night stands?
Yes! And unless I go to sleep and drop both my testicles, my opinion is probably not going to change and I will tell you why…
In an ever evolving society full of so many uncertainties, only one thing is certain, sex is awesome! So by extension, one night stands should be even better…
You skip all the boring parts like getting to know each other and dive right into the uninhibited thrill that a romp with a stranger usually promises.
It is easier this way, isn’t it? I mean sex, if broken down is ultimately mechanics, so why should you have to endure the burden of emotional attachments?
Added bonus, you get to avoid the awkward session of small talk, one of which you might probably have to instigate….
Ignorance is bliss after all and the unknown usually holds more bliss than the human body could handle…
You meet at a bar, your eyes lock, the attraction is instant, she doesn’t know your name, you don’t want to know her name; in that moment, all you want to do is tear into each; you don’t even have to talk, everything you need to know lays just inches beneath each other’s detachable fabric.
It’s hot, one night stands are awesome, right? You don’t even have to ‘suit up’!
After that, you can even take your unwrapped member and shove it down the sewer a couple of times; better yet, you can pick up a used hyper dermic needle along the streets and re-enact a couple of scenes from The Breaking Bad! It won’t matter, because chances are, YOU PROBABLY ALREADY HAVE AIDS!!!!
The only time, and I can’t stress this enough, the only time you are allowed to have sex with a stranger is on Grand Theft Auto!
People are disgusting guys! I have seen a guy drop a sandwich next to a public toilet utility, then still pick it up, and eat it.
I have seen women piss themselves at clubs, and the frightening thing is, some of them weren’t even drunk!
Why would you want to have sex with that!? Sure, relationships are hard, and sure she/he (lets be fair) can be a bit of an ass, but is it better if the alternative is an STD? And sure, some will argue, “but what if we use a condom?” very astute. Hats off to you, I forget sometimes that condoms are 100% effective.
Stop being lazy and going after roadside fast foods, stay in, enjoy the homemade cuisine that took hours to look that good for you…
But what do I know? Why should you listen to a guy who has NEVER had to pay a special visit ‘the clinic’!?
One night stands sound cool in theory, but do you know what else everyone thought could be cool? Making a pg 13 BDSM (bondage) movie that spring boarded off of Twilight!
Full disclosure, I personally have never partaken in a one night stand but i honestly would not crucify someone doing the walk of shame from one…
Why it hasn’t happened for me is because I truly have not met “The Right Guy” AND I DON’T MEAN MARRIAGE MATERIAL!
My problem is… I am perpetually picky… As in, if you are Channing Tatum and smiled at me from across the bar… I would most likely be the one asking you back to my place.
Yes Channing for me IS the “Right Guy”.
You see, for me to be able to throw away all my inhibitions; my not so sexy body, my tiny apartment, the mess i left waiting to welcome me… Or if we went to his place; my not so sexy body, my two left feet, my inability to be a sexual goddess, my morning breath, alcohol breath, my escape plan… For me to not think about all these things, you need to BE Channing Tatum! IT HAS TO BE ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT!
I need to go home smiling and thinking “Oh snap! I just has sex with a Unicorn!”
However there are people who have one night stands everyday…. If it’s with the same person, then it’s definitely not a one night stand anymore and y’all need to talk..
And if it’s with a different person everyday… You maybe need to see a doctor…
Happy hunting and i hope you find your Unicorn.
May the Force be with you